Death

I went and visited a friend who is in the hospital. She is not doing well. She has lost and is still actively losing her battle with cancer. I didn't know that it was as bad as it was. I didn't know that things could go from bad to worse so fast. I guess I did know that but I have been so centered and focused on getting my life to a point that I feel like it mine again that it has been hard to focus on other things and other people. I have been selfish.

As I was sitting there I was instantly taken back to when my aunt died. I watched her take her last breathe.  They looked eerily the same. Their faces. The way they were breathing. It was all so real and so devastating and sad. I don't like death. I don't like to say goodbye to loved ones. I have a really hard time adjusting to life without them. I still have my grandmom's number in my phone and every so often I think that I will call her but then I remember that she is not there, she will not answer.

Death is hard. Life is fragile. There is no guarantee that we get to live a long life.

I hate that it takes such a sad thing to re-put things into perspective.