Guess What...

I am emotional - You probably know that. It is how I am wired. When I was growing up my brothers (I don't recall any one of them specifically but more collectively) would tease me when we were watching movies that they knew the movie wasn't over until I cried. Yes. I cried at almost every movie I watched. That Disney guy really knew how to make a tear jerker. I am still emotional. I internalize things. I put myself in the "other" person's shoes. If we friends you probably know this and you have probably been annoyed more than once, but there is 2 sides to every argument...

I am sensitive - Enough said.

I am honest - I will tell you how I feel. Especially if we are friends. I will tell you what I think, because I think that friends deserve honest communication. If we aren't friends I will still probably tell you what I think, if you ask. 

I am insecure - This poses a slight problem seeing as I am emotional and was probably a catalyst to the whole honest thing. When I was pregnant with Beckett, something changed. I realized life was too short to not be honest, I had to get over some of my insecurities because, well I just did. I am super insecure about my looks... Shocker right...Again, my brothers, this time I know exactly which ones. Used to tease me. I brought my first boyfriend to my house, Brian Halderman, and my Older Brothers openly teased me about the size of my chest. They call my little ladies mosquito bites. They asked if I got a good scratching in so that they would be bigger. Ah, childhood memories. I used to say that I would never get married because I didn't think that anyone would ever find me attractive. I have gotten over some of that. Maybe it was because I went up to an E when I was nursing Beckett and realized that I did not like HUGE boobs. Or maybe it's because, I have an amazing husband who loves me, or because I have two incredibly adorable children...Or deep down I know that when/if  I have enough money I can change some of the things that are super bothersome. I still have my insecurities but who doesn't?

There are so many aspects to who I am. Sometimes I am afraid to put it out there. A lot of the time. I have been told that I come across and snobby, condescending and super confident...I am intrigued how that can be. How can I portray so much of something that I am not feeling? I mean the condescending thing, I get, I have always had to fight to be heard. We have A LOT of BIG personalities in my family.  I have been told that I have been wrong A LOT growing up. There were so many times that my mom would remember things "differently"  than the actual occurrences, if you ask me, not that you did or anything. I had to go in to detail to make sure that I was right. That carries over. I used to pride myself in my memory. Now it is okay. Not what it used to be. Scott and I have had to go back and forth a couple times, you see all of this transcends to my marriage. Scott has the privilege of having me as an ETERNAL partner.... :) I can honestly say that I am wrong, often. but then again I have moments of greatness where my memory is still a force to be reckoned with. 

I occasionally love to be goofy and let it all hang out - Trying to be a responsible adult is hard. Being a parent is hard.

I am hardheaded when I think I am right. I like to be proved wrong. I like the argument. I like to go back and forth as long as it is friendly. Once something makes sense I need to work it through to change that perception. I know that I might totally be wrong but I need it to make sense. I really loved math growing up. You could work the problems backwards and forward, the numbers didn't lie. If you made a mistake you could find it, correct it. It didn't take memorizing the facts it was more understanding the concept and then you worked the numbers, any numbers,  until it was right, forward and backwards. I think that this is the way I am programed.

I am analytical -  

Yesterday at church a young lady in the ward made a comment. We were talking about stereotypes and how there are many regarding the church, inside and out, and she said that people change the way they are to try to fit the mold better, but really we should all just be ourselves...This is not her exact words, just what I took away from it. 

I am reminded of a quote: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

— Marilyn Monroe