Have you ever wondered what 4:30 am looks like through the eyes of a mother with a newborn child?

Birthday Cake

We baked Beckett's birthday cake on his birthday but it was too late so we didn't decorate/eat it until the next night.

Icing his cake

Here he is after decorating his cake with some blue sprinkles.

The finished product.

He was given 24 multi-colored candles to choose from and these are the 2 he chose. He did a great job blowing out the candles. I was so proud of him.

Sweet Dreams

I know it seems like sleep is the only thing occupying my mind right now, but I am really just trying to update my blog and post some pictures.

Look at those nails

Beckett & Aleks having a mock sleep over

This one requires a story...I think it is well known that Beckett has never slept through the night. I mean there has been an occasional night but on the whole, he has never reached the phase of sleeping through the night. Well, when he was a baby I realized that he doesn't always wake up. He would cry but if I got to him fast enough and soothed him back into a deep sleep he would go right back to sleep. The tricky part was that if I picked him up I couldn't put him down. He would wake up the moment I pulled him away from my body in order to place him in the crib. One night in my desperation to comfort him (and catch a few Zs myself) I jumped into his crib, with him. I would feed him, rock him to sleep and then lay down with him, therefore never giving him the oppurtunity to feel like I was putting him down. I always felt as if I tricked him to sleep, but now I realize that he had the upper hand. He manipulated me. At such a young, ripe age he was able to get a girl in her mid 20s to sleep in a crib. And it didn't even stop there. We moved him over to a "big boy bed" on November 7th, which would have made me just about 7 months pregnant... I hoisted my pregnant body over the side of his crib, contorted my body into whatever shape would allow both of us to fit into it and sleep comfortably. Until he would fall back asleep, unfortunately, I usually fell asleep before he would and so a few hours would pass before I realized I could go back to my own bed. I would have let him sleep our bed but that was the same as announcing that it was time to wake up and play.

Well, his charm and manipulation is still in full swing. Whenever I put him to bed he will look at me and say MOM, while patting his pillow, as an invitation to join him. I am a sucker. But we both fit a lot more comfortably now that I don't have a huge belly.

TIME-OUT TIME

I just thought I would do a little "journaling". Scott & I are huge advocates of time out. I don't think that it is always effective but it makes me feel like I am doing my part in disciplining my son when he is not so..."precious".

It has always worked so well, no matter where we were at, but now he has realized that it is not as effective when we are not at home. And he knows that if he cries I will let him out before he has done his time, but at home it is different story. He KNOWS that he has to sit there until we come and get him.

-Unfortunately-

Beckett has reached this stage of whining, defiance, meanness, revenge...and the word NO.

SIDE NOTE: We swore that we would not use the word no, rather we would explain to him what he was doing wrong and ask him to stop doing whatever it was. It worked for so long. It wasn't until 21/22 months that he really started to say no. I blame it on the fact that my mom goes by Nona and my desire for Beckett to know her name and to call her by it. Ever since he really got to know her name as Nona is when he lost all restrictions on saying NO...

If he doesn't like what we are telling him to do he tells us no, if I send him to timeout he says no, if he doesn't know how to answer a question he says NO. I am currently trying to teach him to say YES. He knows what yes is and insists on nodding. OH how I wish YES would replace NO.
Now that Monroe is here it is a little harder for me to discipline Beckett. He seems to know when my hands are full and when it is completely impossible for me to "tend" to him. As a result I have been telling him to go to time-out. The first few times he would just yell no at me, so I would put Monroe down and carry him in to time-out, all the while he hits, pinches, spits - ANYTHING he can do to show that he is deeply upset that he is being punished. He broke my heart the other day, he wasn't listening and came extremely close to hitting the baby, so I sent him to time-out, he turned and looked me straight in the eye and said no,(I sighed because I had just got Monroe to fall asleep and I knew the moment I put her down she would wake up) then he immediately turned around and started walking to his bedroom,(I was taken back, I didn't know what to do) and then about halfway there he turns around, and in the most angelic voice says "Bye-Bye" and waved to me as he proceeded to go to his room and sit in his time-out chair.(I didn't want him to go to time-out anymore, I had completely forgotten what it was that he did wrong and all I wanted to do was smother him in hugs & kisses and tell him what a good boy he was. How did he know that he could melt me with a few words and a little gesture?)

-Unfortunately-

He was in trouble, he had not listened to me, he could have potentially hurt his little sister (like he has on many other occasions) and I had to stick to my guns, because lets face it 2 year olds are smart and will prey on any weakness or inconsistencies.

- Fortunately-

Getting him to time out is the hardest, once he is there he will stay there until we come and get him. Which he did.

Today has been one of those days. I love my children, I would never trade them in for anything. But I miss sleep. I miss waking up refreshed. Beckett is now 2 years old and he still doesn't sleep through the night. I think he has night terrors, nightmares or something and he walks in his sleep. On top of that Monroe won't sleep in her cradle. Yesterday, I put her down for a nap in my bed and she fell asleep. It was beautiful. I was hoping that the same would hold true for last night but my wish was only half granted. She slept for 3 1/2 hours but I didn't sleep because I was so nervous to have her in my bed. It is a lose-lose situation. All morning I was looking forward to nap time. Beckett only slept for 45 minutes and during those 45 minutes Monroe decided that she wanted to be awake or wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. I finally had to lock myself in the bathroom and count to 10. How do you function while suffering from sleep deprivation? I have got it and I need help. Thank you Shannon for being there for me. I am anxioius to come home and to have a support system.

HAPPY B- DAY - HAPPY V-DAY

Our little boy is getting so big. I can't believe that he is 2 years old. I remember going to see my doctor while I was prgnant with Beckett and she said that she wouldn't let me go past my due date; the next day I went to go see the specialist, that was following my pregnancy because of the issues that Beckett had, and he said that there was no need to wait and that he wanted me to be induced at my docs earliest convenience...which just happened to be that night. I was a little upset that they wouldn't wait a few days, I did the math and I figured that if I was induce on February 13th Beckett would be born on the 14th and I didn't want to share that day. I know it was really selfish of me but I knew that Scott and I would want to go out, at some point in our marriage, and I wouldn't want to leave Beckett on his birthday...After Beckett was born I was completely ashamed that those thoughts even went through my mind. What better gift could I ask for each and every Valentine's Day?

We had a very relaxed Valentine's Day, we spent all morning taking turns letting each other nap. Nothing says "I love you" to 2 sleep deprived people better than, "I'll watch the kids if you want to lay down". After we realized that our day had been relatively unproductive we decided to go get a few things at the store. I know it seems silly & completely not romantic, but it was such a wonderful day, just being together...grocery shopping.

We came home and made Beckett's cake & ICING

I couldn't deprive him of one of my favorite childhood delights. Licking the beaters.

We used to fight over them. I am pretty sure that this was one of the highlights of his day. He was so excied to get the beater and I cheated a little I dipped them one last time in the icing before I gave it to him.

AAAHHHH! The sweet goodness of sugar!!!!

Beckett and Scott putting his motorcycle together.
The finished product

After all of the excitement (and sugar) Beckett didn't get to bed until after 11pm, but not to worry he still woke up at his usual time (7am)...