I am going through a moral dilema.... I think that it is safe to say that I don't usually wish ill will toward someone else, but in my current situation I really want a certain business to fail miserably. They are fake, two-face, they have used fraudulant ways to get ahead, they make things up, they don't listen to what you are saying when you say it and then a month or two down the road they give the credit to someone in their family. They pay their children for doing NOTHING, except watching youtube and occassionaly going to see a patient, and they pay their children well, while at the same time underpay the rest of the staff. They blame everything that goes wrong on anyone but their "offspring" and their loved ones. I want them to go out of business. Check this, they met with a bankruptcy lawyer and the next week took a weeks long vacation....WHO DOES THAT? So my dilemma is that I feel like these people are corrupting my "sympathy gene" and pulling me down with them and I would love to rid myself of the entire family but I am as you know 5 1/2 months pregnant, Scott is in Law School, we have a 19 month old child to provide for as well as ourselves, the economy is at a low and I need a job that provides insurance and a paycheck. AAAHHHHH! Sometimes I really wish I could just go home, live with my parents, not worry about bills or any of the other adult responsibilities.

Wilson Family Reunion

I just got back from spending 9 days in Hamburg NY with all of my family. It was such a wonderful time. I don’t think that we have all been together in 5 years. I think my wedding was the last time. Anyway, my “little” brother Dustin, flew out to Detroit and I was glad to have the company as we made the trek through CANADA. I have had some issues in the past trying to get through border control so I was nervous that it wouldn’t really save anytime. My fears were uncalled for, at least on the way to NY, however on the way back I sat at the Canada/Michigan border for an hour. It was ridiculous, not as bad as the last time we went but still ridiculous. The border control guy was weird and took forever. I gave him my passport and Beckett’s birth certificate, both of which are official documents with my signature, then, he came to Beckett’s window and asked him where his mommy was...Beckett looked at him like he had three heads. Then the man proceeded to ask why we were coming thru Canada, I told him that I had just been at a family reunion in NY and it was faster to drive thru Canada. He proceeded to ask what was in our truck. I told him luggage. He went thru everything. The best part was that I had gone shopping and bought a few girl outfits and had a mess of ribbon that my grandmom gave to me and when he saw all of that he came back and got Beckett’s BC and kept staring at it…I am sure he was wondering IF Beckett really was my SON, then why did I have girl things in my trunk and WHY wouldn’t Beckett say that I was his MOM. I seriously felt like a criminal. He came back and asked how long I had been in NY, I told him, around a week and a half, but that wasn’t good enough he wanted SPECIFIC DATES. Finally he let us through. I have never been so happy to be back in Michigan.

Here is my mom's side of the family (minus Scott and my brother's wife, Michelle)

The Grandkids

The Fam w/ Bumpa & Grammy Sam

My Siblings

My Brothers

I just love this picture!

Beckett had a great time with all of my cousins, they wouldn't put him down. As anyone who has a nineteen month old child knows, that can be a good and a bad thing, there were times that he just wanted to be independent and so there were a little more tantrums and fits thrown, and an increase in time outs, as well.

On Saturday we all went out to my uncle's property. It's an old camp ground and so there are ~7 cabins and forty some odd acres. We all had a good time four wheeling and hanging out.

The Girls

The Boys

Some other highlights were:
-My older brother took off his wedding ring and put it in his pocket. Well, he realized that he didn’t have it the next day, unfortunately, we had all been at my uncle’s property playing and there were a number of places that it could be. My uncle Rick and I rented a metal detector and looked for 2.5 hours. We couldn’t find it anywhere.
-Beckett fell and hit his head on a corner on the exact same spot that he had hit before and blood came gushing out. I didn’t realize how much head cuts bleed. My grandmom, was frazzled, she got really panicked and asked whether she should get dressed. By the time she got dressed I had stopped the bleeding but Beckett was screaming. I don’t think that she was up for the drama or the blood. From there on out she was on pins and needles, every time Beckett stumbled I think her heart skipped a beat, the night before we left she said that we had to go, because she just couldn’t take it anymore and that Beckett was too much of a boy and she was too old.
-I lost my wedding ring…Seriously, it was crazy. I had taken it off at like 5 am and put it on the window ledge because my fingers were swollen, then Beckett woke up and since I was sleep deprived I kept having him lay with me. Well while I was sleeping he must have got up on the ledge and grabbed my ring because once we got up and ate breakfast and showered I went to go get my ring…and it wasn’t there!!!! I looked everywhere in the room and found nothing, I was convinced that either my son or my grandmom’s dog had eaten the ring. Seriously, my gandmom’s house is one of the cleanest most uncluttered houses I have ever been in, I looked in every corner. I said a prayer and felt completely deflated. I had no idea how I was going to tell Scott, especially since we just talked about the fact that my brother had lost his wedding ring. It was one of the worst feelings I have ever felt. I was picking up Beckett’s ball in the laundry room and for some reason unknown to me I let my eye drift to the heat register that was on the wall and there it was. I have no idea how it got there. I just know that that was the last place I would have ever looked. I am so grateful for prayers. I know they work because that “coincidence” was completely out of my hands. I am happy to be home, with Scott but I miss my family A LOT. One day I hope to have the best of both worlds.

GIANT Feet / GIANT Fetish

We just took Beckett to have his feet measured because his shoes are progressively getting harder to put on. The lady said the he was right at a 5, but she receommended that I get him a 5 1/2 or 6, to accomodate for growth. So it is with a heavy heart that I graduate from buying infact shoes, to buying toddler shoes.




So a few weeks ago I was showing Beckett where his shoes belonged, I always kept them in the top drawer of his dresser. He caught on quick and began opening the lower drawers to use as stairs to get to the top drawer, after seeing the danger that this could potentially become I made the executive decision to move his shoes to a lower place. I must not have accurately examined the situation: yes I wanted to accomadate his desire to "help" me put his shoes away, and no I didn't want him to get hurt but I never thought that he would become soo consumed with his shoes. I thought that he would forget where they were.... One thing lead to another and pretty soon he was bringing me shoes left and right to put on his feet. I have to find a new hiding spot every week or so because he is obsessed. Now when he can't find his shoes he finds mine or Scott's and takes them off & on, off & on. The worst is in the morning when we are getting ready for daycare I will get a pair of shoes and then he decides whether or not those are the shoes that he will be wearing that day. If I so much as try to put his big toe in a shoe that he does not approve of, I HEAR IT. He shakes his head vehemently and says "SHOES" until we find a the shoes that he WANTS to wear. If I actually get his foot in the shoe he goes bananas, he acts as if the shoe is his cryptonite and he is unable to use that foot. He won't put weight on it, he just collapses and cries "SHOES". Poor kid his mom is so mean. We will usually try another pair of shoes but the problem is that they are not always where they belong, thanks to Beckett, and so somedays he has to wear whatever shoes I pick out.

Every mothers nightmare.....

Yesterday was quite an interesting day. It all started with me being EXTREMELY late for work, Scott, Beckett and I all slept in way past the time we should. The good part was that one of the girls was out of town so I didn't have to sit in my normal desk, I got to sit by another girl, who makes my day sooo much more enjoyable. Then I received a call from my little brother, he is in the states and we have been waiting ever so patiently for him to get his orders for leave so that we could buy him a plane ticket to come home. So, I get this call and he says that he can finally take leave starting on Wednesday, so I told him that I would start to look for plane tickets, for THIS weekend. We have a "family reunion" planned because he missed our grandmom's funeral in February and then he missed our oldest brother's wedding in May, so my mom thought it would be a good idea to have a get together. Well EVERYONE has their tickets bought & plans made, I don't think that they knew that Dustin hadn't actually been approved for leave. Needless to say I was relieved that he was in fact going to make it. OK back to crazy, bizarre and nightmarish times....He calls me back 20 minutes later to see if I found him a ticket, he had to know right then so that he could submit his paperwork, I kept asking him to let me call him back in 5 minutes and he would say I don't have 5 minutes, so I stopped working, took my break and found him a ticket to come home. He flies in to Detroit on Thursday and we are heading over to Hamburg, NY...I CAN"T WAIT TO HIM!!! I get off of the phone and no more than 2 minutes later my coworker calls my temporary extension and says that someone is asking for me by my first and last name so it must be one of my friends, or some other personal call. I pick up the extension and the first words I hear are "Now don't freak out, everything is okay". It was Beckett's daycare. She continued to say, "Beckett, may need a few stitches in the back of his head. I don't know, it bled a lot, but all head cuts do, but you may want to take him in to have him checked out. But don't worry, we got the bleeding to stop." Fortunately, I work less than 1 mile away from his daycare so it took little time to get to him. I pull up and he is just there, nothing too disturbing, his eyes were puffy, I am sure due to the fact that he was crying and then I looked at the back of his head. The first to hit me was the smell of old, dried blood, it was stomach curdling, and then I saw his owie...there was a gash a little longer 1/2" and it was spread open about 1/4" - 1/2". The combination of seeing the inside flesh of my sons head and the nauseating smell was enough to make me want to drive as fast as I could to the doctor's office; I was scrambling trying to stay focused on what was the most important thing for me to do, I finished getting all of the pertinent information that I would need, for not only my own knowledge but also to give to the doctor, so they would be able to evaluate the situation quickly & sufficiently. Beckett's pediatrician's office, Lansing Pediatrics, were great I called them and they said that they could fit him in, the last thing that I wanted to do was sit in the ER, so we headed straight over there. Beckett seemed fine, he didn't cry, he just played in the waiting room while we waited to be called in, then we went to the room and the nurse says, "He doesn't look like a baby who split his head open, let's take a look and see what is going on." I kind of felt like she thought that I was one of those parent's who was overreacting, that all changed once she saw it. She immediately started cleaning the wound and then got the doctor in to check it out and to lay out our options. The final decision was to DURABOND the cut (that's just a fancy name for medical superglue). The doctor explained how much more traumatic stitches would be because we would have to give him some sort of numbing solution, probably a shot and then he would have to be held down while he was stitched up... He made the final call and I couldn't be more happy with the end result. The doctor who sealed him up came in and said that she has used it on her own son 3 times in the last year and that it was great and she was right. I had to hold him still for about 1 minute, nothing in comparison to what could have been, but the opening is closed and it is a straight line that looks like it will heal beautifully. I think he still might be a little traumatized but hopefully he will forget that any of this happened. I told him that if he were brave we would go and get ice cream. He seemed to understand those words perfectly, more proof that he is Scott's own flesh and blood. The one downfall is that I cannot scrub that area or saturate it with water, needless to say, after his shower was complete he smelled of baby soap with a hint of old, stale, dried blood. I don't have a picture yet, we did video tape it so I will post it tonight after Scott gets home from class.

Pictures from Labor Day

So I know I already posted about Labor but I thought, since I have pictures, that I would say a little more. Here are our best friends from STL, Marc & Michelle. I am so glad that you guys came up to see us, thank you.

Here is Beckett, Megan and Natalie...Obviously Beckett thinks something is hilarious....Who knows. Maybe he thinks he is hot stuff, hangin' out with 2 older girls.
Michelle & Me Take 2 Scott striking a pose
.....or two

EXHAUSTED & OVERWHELMED

I thought that you were supposed to have a ton of energy during the 2nd trimester....I am exhausted. Every night I feel like I have done more than any typical person should have to do in the course of a day, and yet, when I think of everything I did...it's really not that much. At least not enough to explain the fatigue. The other night I went to bed with Beckett at 8:30.

Have you ever noticed that doing anything with a 19 month old takes at least twice as long and uses twice as much energy. After (a LONG day) work Beckett and I went to Hobby Lobby and Sally's, to exchange a few things. At first it was wonderful, Beckett just sat in the cart and put the items I handed him into the back. It didn't take him very long to realize that I didn't buckle him in, and it's as if I had given him an open invitation to stand up. Once he gets it in his head that he can get up, that is all he wants to do. So I spent a good portion of the trip picking him up and trying to get him to stay with me, as he whined and arched his back until I put him down. Then he kept picking things up and at Sally's he kept trying to put chap stick in his pocket, well I thought he was "trying"; turns out Beckett is a seasoned kleptomaniac at the ripe old age of 19 months, he already had 4 tubes of chap stick in his pocket. I felt as if I needed a dislaimer as I stood there emptying my sons pockets. Finally it was time to go and Beckett thought it would be hilarious to run a way from me, laughing hysterically. It's times like that that I love being a mom. I don't think that that seen would have been quite as cute for anybody else in the world. I love wathching Beckett experience "JOY" and "GLEE".

Alright, this blogging thing has taken everything I had left. I am going to bed. Good Night.

I received one of the best phone calls today. My little brother, Dustin, has been in Iraq for what seems like an eternity, he's missed our grandmom's funeral and our oldest brothers wedding. He called today and he is officially out of Iraq and on his way home. He said that he is Kuwait now and will be leaving on the 14th to come back to the states...

Labor Day Weekend 2008

Sorry, no pictures. Hopefully, we will get our camera in working condition soon.

I think it is safe to say that this has been quite a weekend and the week leading up to this weekend has been nothing short of an emotional roller coaster (and no it is not because I am pregnant). Our best friends called on Tuesday and said that they really wanted to get out of town and what better place than Lansing, MI. They've heard some great things about this beautiful city and decided that that is where they would like to spend their Labor Day, here with us. It was the best phone call ever, I was seriously smiling the cheesiest ear to ear smile when Scott finally came home from class and I was able to tell him the good news.

We also found out that we are expecting a little girl on Wednesday. I just couldn't be happier. I didn't want to jinx myself so I kept saying that I thought it was a boy because I didn't want to be devastated if it were a boy, not that I wouldn't have been happy either way, BUT I REALLY WANTED A GIRL. I am ready for bows and dresses and cute little sandals and most of all I am excited to see Scott with HIS little girl. He is going to be putty in her hands and I just can't wait for that. (When we found out it is a girl, he said "I am okay with putting Beckett in timeout but I just don;t think I will be able to discipline my daughter. It's already starting. She is approximately 1/2 lb and already he is helpless to her powers) OH and I can't wait for Beckett to be a big brother. I just think he is going to be the best big brother in the whole world. And every little girl needs a big brother. We got him a little baby doll a few weeks ago and he loves his little baby doll, he takes it with him when we go on walks and lets it sit next to him, he puts it in the bouncy seat and even gives it kisses. I will say "Beckett, where is your baby" and immediately he will go and find it; occasionally, he will throw it across the room or carry it by its leg but that is normal...Right. :) I know that it will have its ups and downs and that Beckett will probably not be as gentle as we would like 100% of the time but that's life and besides, I am positive that my older bothers and sisters weren't "gentle" all of the time and I am still here to tell about it so I am just excited to meet the new little addition to our family. It seems like this pregnancy is going by so much quicker than the first but I am much more impatient this time, the weeks keep passing but I still want them to go quicker. I cannot wait for January!!!!! I love feeling her move. Beckett was not nearly so noticeably active so early. In fact, I still hadn't felt Beckett when I was this far with him, but she moves ALL of the time almost as if she is having her own personal dance party in my belly.

Thursday, there was a bit of drama at my job and I feel as though I have been completely affected by it. I feel like the entire thing was handled improperly and that certain "true" characters were exposed and the reality of the situation is that I would not typically work with those people It makes me so angry to think that I have wasted the last 2 years here working for a company where I am not appreciated nor am I treated as a contributing member of the staff. Fortunately, I have a great husband who is understanding and who loves me and only wants the best for me, so I know that no matter what happens I can expect full support from him. I am dreading the start of the work week, this weekend has been a complete escape, thanks again M&M, but it will only be a 3 day work week so that's a PLUS!

Friday was the much anticipated arrival of Marc, Michelle, Natalie and Julia it was so good to see them.

Saturday was our anniversary; we have been married for 5 years. It is hard to believe that it has already been 5 years I feel like I still remember our wedding, in detail, like it was just a year or two ago but then I feel like I have always been with Scott. He makes me feel like I am home. I know that doesn't make a ton of sense but that is how I feel . I know that I lived without him and I know that I was happy, but never as happy as I am with him. I feel as if he has given me everything that I have ever wanted, I know that it is cliché but I have the perfect life. I have everything that is truly important with a few added bonuses. I LOVE our family.

Today we had a ton of fun. We went and played kickball with some friends this morning, and had a great day chillaxing with the Hogges, turns out that Erika and Michelle are not so distant, distant relatives, we are hoping that they plan a "family" get together in the near future so that we can see them again. Unfortunately, Marc and Michelle left to go home around 3. It was by far the saddest part of my entire week. I love them so much. Thank you Marc and Michelle for coming up to see us. We are very sad that you had to leave today. I hate goodbyes, especially to those that I never want to say goodbye to. We are so lucky to have you as friends.

This evening was the Labor Day Picnic for church and there are a ton of new people.There was a great turn out and the activities committee did a great job. We are really lucky to be in a ward with so many great people who are all going through similar situations. Sometimes it is hard to be in such a transient ward but it really is the best ward that we could be in.

The Verdict is in AND.....

WARNING: Screaming Child Ahead

Today, like every other day, I picked Beckett up from daycare and he was FILTHY. I'm never really too upset because he is a boy and if he is covered in dirt than I know that he is playing hard. And he has a lot of bigger kids at his daycare so I imagine he is trying to keep up with them. The problem comes later in the evening, after dinner and after he has washed his hair with whatever type food we are eating that night....BATH TIME. We don't have a "bathtub" we only have a stand up shower with a 4" leldge so since he was born he has taken a shower with either Scott or myself, usually Scott because I have a few things that he preferrs to be distracted with and I personally think it is easier for Scott to do it (and fortunately he always volunteers) Alright, I know yadda, yadda, yadda...I am getting to the point. The last week I have been filling up the "tub" with water and giving Beckett a "bath" he screams. Not just annoyed screaming it got to the point that Scott came up stairs to see if Beckett was seriously injured. He was screaming as if he is in the worst pain imaginable and when he can get a word out it is always UP!!!!! Today, was no different, except for the fact that Scott came home right before bathtime so Scott volunteered to give him a bath...wouldn't you know that he was perfect for Scott. Apparently he doesn't WANT ME to give him a bath or shower....I think my beautiful plan has backfired...

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I almost forgot...I went to the doctor today and got to hear the heartbeat of our little one again. It might just be the most beautiful sound in the world.

Scripture Game Night

Alright, so I went to the Scripture Game Night and I have to tell you I was a little unsure of what to expect. I'm not the greatest at hearing a passage and trying to find it but I was pleasantly surprised when it was more of finding a scripture, reading it, discussing it and then mixing it up with a little bit of craziness. I cannot speak for any of the other people that were there but I really had a good time.
Scott and I have discussions all of the time and I think we already have an idea of the type of answer the other is going to have, to an extent, but tonight was different I had the opportunity to see the way other people see things. And although, I may have interpreted it differently it was beautiful to see the contrast and I love that it gives me another angle to look at something. I know Scott gets aggravated but I always play the devil's advocate. If someone is tailgating him I remind him that maybe that person is rushing to the hospital to see his new child or something has gone terribly wrong or that they are late for work, all of which would be plenty of reasoning for us to drive on the higher side of the speed limit and get irritated when someone is in the fast lane but still going slower than the other lanes.
The theme of tonight was one that is very close to me - FAITH. Anytime anyone would say Faith in a talk or lesson I would arrogantly say/think that they were talking to me. I do love my name but that is beside the point I love the fact that I am able to have my own faith, that I am able to believe in what I believe in. I am grateful to all of my family and friends, who might not share those beliefs, but allow me to make my own choices and to live my own life free from their judgements and criticism. It makes charity and acceptance a lot easier knowing that I have these relationships.
Scott and I recently visited some people very close to us and it makes me very sad that someone would judge them for a life style that they lead. I remember thinking when new members of the church would say that their families disowned them or they were speaking to them anymore because of their decision, because they were choosing to live according to a gospel that they didn't believe in and I thought how silly and immature that was. Can you imagine not speaking to your brother, sister, niece, uncle because they chose to become a member of the church...?Why is it then that we feel that it is okay to judge someone who believes or lives their lives differently than we do? I can't get over this. I absolutely love the church that I have been raised in. I love the principles that it teaches. I love the congregation that I grew up in. Sure there was DRAMA but how often can you get a substantial group of people together and there not be drama? I remember coming to church and seeing people whom I deeply cared for, who were part of my family; I have watched a number of those people pass away and I cannot begin to tell you how hard it is for me to know that I can't go visit them when I go home and they won't be there to give me a giant hug after not seeing me, I can't imagine anybody not getting to know them over something as trivial as to what church they belong. I am grateful for my faith in the things that I believe in, I am grateful for the trials in my life, I am grateful for all of the wonderful blessings that I have been given and I am grateful for my wonderful family, friends and all of my acquaintances that have given me perspective and have shown that even though everyone is different, we all have issues that we have to deal with and that underneath everything, we all have feelings and even though it's not expressed by everyone we want to be understood, accepted and loved. After having Beckett I think that I am beginning to understand charity at a more personal level than I thought existed. I LOVE my son, and I seriously doubt that he could do something that would remove my love for him. I hope that Scott & I can teach him well and prepare him for the world. I hope that I can remember that his experiences will be different than mine, that he will grow up in a different world than the one I grew up in, that he will make decisions that I don't necessarily agree with or that he regrets but most of all I hope that I never lose perspective to what is really important in this life and that I am able to always have the same unconditional love that I know our Savior has for us, for not only Beckett but for all of my family and all of my loved ones.
P.S I know that I do not speak very eloquently, and I am sure I have made a number of mistakes (all of which Scott will find the moment he reads this) but I never claimed to be an writer or English major, I am just me and I this is what it is. I am sorry to all of you who have lasted this long.

Pregnancy is so.....FUNNY

I don't get it. One day I feel like I am hardly showing and I feel reassured that I will not blow up like a ballon and then there are days like today. I feel like I am twice as far as I am. I can't remember but I don't remember being this big until I was ALOT further along. UGGH! I think I am still in denial about the whole thing and it doesn't make it better that Scott is losing weight...

A Night at the Movies

Last night was the RS "film festival" and it was great. I am sorry for anyone who missed it because it was done so well. I don't think that I have ever achknowledged it but we have some crazy talented people here in Lansing and I am so glad that I have been exposed to their talents. I won't start naming the peopel who organized and participated (I would probably forget somebody, of not know about someone else) but I just wanted to say thank you for a great evening, filled with great information, ideas, food and friends.

SUPER DUPER QUICK SIDE NOTE

I have a ton of things to post but Comcast has decided that they needed to break up all of the fun we were having with the internet and voila, discsonnected....Not entirely, but it takes like 20 minutes for a page to load and then...nothing.

But I wanted to comment on how great this week has been!!!! The best part is that it is already Thursday (my Friday). YAY. I love the weekends and more importantly not going to work @ 7:30 am.....